You turned a month old today.
It’s achingly difficult not to have you here with us.
I can’t begin to imagine how many diapers and burps and feedings we’ve already missed. How many smiles we’ve never seen and how many cries we haven’t heard.
There’s been no progress towards having you with us . . . I won’t go into details, but there are two different ways you can come be with us, but nothing has happened with either route.
In so many ways, we are as helpless as you are.
You turned three weeks old, today.
And you’re still far from us.
I spoke to your court-appointed social worker today.
It’s going to take at least another three weeks, or a month, or even two months. Although I’m hopeful that it won’t take two whole months.
There are several hearings that have to take place concerning your birth mother . . . we know in the end that you’ll be with us. This is our hope, and dream, and prayer, each and every day.
Your mommy’s friends gave her a baby shower today . . . a big party where they all brought you a lot of books and toys and clothes and diapers! and all the things you need . . . things you’ll need in the future, but things you need right now, we feel very sad that we can’t share all things with you, now.
many gifts for you from mommy’s co-workers.
The news from the government concerning your custody isn’t good . . . it looks like it could be as much as a month before we see you again.
(Your birth family is so supportive of us, that they send us pictures of you. They let us see you, but they remind us that you’re hundreds of miles away – and we want you here with us, now.)
Your birth family sent us this, today.
We’re moving to a new house in a month . . . a house we bought with you in mind. Perhaps it’s the Lord’s will that we be in the new house before you’re able to join us.
To our little girl,
Today I was told that your birth mother has changed her mind, and wants to keep you.
I know that she’s not well, and in the hospital, and that she doesn’t know what she’s doing or saying, or even thinking. She’s confused. I know that today’s situation will give way to another situation, that things may change again, in the next four or five weeks before you’re born. But this is such a difficult and hard time, because we don’t know what’s going to happen.
I’ve been thinking about keeping a journal for you, for you to look back on the process of us adopting you and bringing you home with us.
We have so many hopes and dreams for you, but now we’re not so sure we’ll meet you.