Tag Archives: birth mother

Four months old today

I had a long talk with your birth mother today.

It’s been a hard four months for all of us, four months ago today, she gave birth to you. She wishes she could keep you with her, and she wishes she could have signed you over to us four months ago, when the transition would have been faster and quicker. It’s been hard for her to see you these months, knowing she can’t take care of you and that you would one day go away.

It makes me sad to see how sad she is to have to let you go. With tears on her face, she knelt down and said goodbye.

She knows she can’t take care of you and that mommy and I will give you a much better life than you would have otherwise.

I thanked her for entrusting us with her baby and for the sacrifice she’s making for you.

Out of tremendous sadness will come boundless joy.

Mommy and I will love you twice as much, for her and for us.

We’re all going to court Wednesday

Tuesday, Daddy talked with your caseworker and the assistant director of the office managing your case.

They said that during the hearing, we’ll all have an opportunity to talk with the judge. I’ve seen his picture online. He looks like a kind man.

This is a new judge, in a new jurisdiction, because you and your birth mother have both moved from where you were born. This new judge will make all the decisions from now on, from your placement with us, to your final adoption, so Mommy and I want to make a good impression on the judge.

Our lawyer will be there . . . he’s a really good talker, and he already knows the judge, so we hope he’ll make a really good impression for us.

The family of the birth mother will also speak to the judge – we expect them to explain how important it is that you come be with us as soon as possible. They also have a lawyer, although we have no idea what he will say.

(YOU, too, have a lawyer. Everyone has a lawyer.)

Your caseworker and the assistant director will also talk with the judge, and we think the judge will be particularly interested when they try to explain why it’s taken nearly four months for nearly nothing to happen.

When it’s our turn to talk, we’ll share with the judge how much we love you and miss you and want you to be with us right away. We’ll tell him about your pretty room and all of your pretty clothes, and how we plan to adopt you sometime in the next year, when he says we can.

The family taking care of you has temporary custody . . . it’s still the emergency custody from when you were born four months ago. No one has permanent custody of you – we’re trying to get permanent custody, and we pray the judge will give us permanent custody as quickly as he can.

And, you’ll be there, too, because we’re all going to court. We’ll get to see you, and hold you and talk to you while everyone in the courtroom will see you and talk about you.

And you have no idea how important you are.

Lawyers and social workers

You turn six weeks old tomorrow, and my, what a busy amount of business going on around you.

Lawyers and social workers were in court a few days ago, to talk about you and your birth mother.

Your birth mother isn’t able to take care of you, and that’s why we want to have you come be with us, so we can take care of you for the rest of our lives.

There are other court dates ahead of us, and paper work, and home studies, and background checks, but eventually, at the end of the court dates and all the lawyer meetings, you’ll come home with us.

Six weeks - and your special bib fits perfectly!

Six weeks . . . and your special bib fits perfectly!

Three weeks old

You turned three weeks old, today.

And you’re still far from us.

I spoke to your court-appointed social worker today.

It’s going to take at least another three weeks, or a month, or even two months. Although I’m hopeful that it won’t take two whole months.

There are several hearings that have to take place concerning your birth mother . . . we know in the end that you’ll be with us. This is our hope, and dream, and prayer, each and every day.

Your mommy’s friends gave her a baby shower today . . . a big party where they all brought you a lot of books and toys and clothes and diapers! and all the things you need . . . things you’ll need in the future, but things you need right now, we feel very sad that we can’t share all things with you, now.

many gifts for you from mommy's co-workers.

many gifts for you from mommy’s co-workers.

Today I was told that your birth mother has changed her mind, and wants to keep you.

To our little girl,

Today I was told that your birth mother has changed her mind, and wants to keep you.

I know that she’s not well, and in the hospital, and that she doesn’t know what she’s doing or saying, or even thinking. She’s confused. I know that today’s situation will give way to another situation, that things may change again, in the next four or five weeks before you’re born. But this is such a difficult and hard time, because we don’t know what’s going to happen.

I’ve been thinking about keeping a journal for you, for you to look back on the process of us adopting you and bringing you home with us.

We have so many hopes and dreams for you, but now we’re not so sure we’ll meet you.