For so many years Father’s Day was hard for me, because it was always a reminder that I wasn’t a father.
And now I am a daddy to a most wonderful little girl.
These past two weeks of being a daddy have been different in ways I never imagined or thought possible.
Before daddy came to recognize God working in the world and in his life, daddy wasn’t a Christian. I wasn’t even close to being considered a Christian or even religious.
But then, I had a moment of clarity. A satori. An awakening. I was able to see the Creator in all of creation.
Parenthood has been that sharp a transformation. I was standing in the dark, and then the lights came on. I was blind, but now I see. In many ways, both as a parent and in my faith, I know there is still so much to learn.
It’s like driving down the highway, and I see the vague outlines of a city way off in the distance. As I get closer, so many aspects come into focus, and I’m able to see clearly. I try very hard to recognize the things I see for what they are, and not hold onto how they first appeared, or how I was taught, or what other people tell me is the truth, or what I read somewhere. I accept both faith and fatherhood for what it is.
In the present moment.
Doing the best you can do, right now.
God is always more than our human understanding of God.
And parenthood is always more than our simple understanding of parenthood.
And now, on this my first Father’s Day, after I got you out of your crib, and changed you, and fed you, and played with you and as you fall asleep here on the couch with your little hand touching me, being a daddy is as massive as the Grand Canyon and as subtle as the sands within it.
On this Father’s Day, I thank the Lord who created each of us, for helping to bring you into my life.